I win!

I have been wanting to do a pumpkin muffin of some kind for the past month or so. When I first wanted to do it, I went to our local grocery store only to find out there has been a shortage of canned pumpkin for the past two years. They do occasionally get shipments, but it is gone quickly. Well lo-and-behold, this past week, they got a big shipment in. I had no idea how much I would need for a batch of muffins, so I just picked up three cans. I hadn't even found a recipe to use at the time.

So I went too allrecipes.com and searched for pumpkin muffins. The one with the highest rating had was a chocolate chip pumpkin muffin. I looked down the list, and didn't see anything else I was looking for, so I figured I'd try it out. The recipe only makes a dozen, so I figured it was a good test. The recipe includes seasonings of nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves so it really smells harvesty. When I opened the pumpkin can, immediately I was brought back to the time where I was making baby food. It smelled very similar to sweet potatoes. And each recipe called for less than a half a can of pumpkins. Guess I have a few recipes worth of canned pumpkin. But the real kicker is that both kids really enjoy them, I feel entirely good about letting them eat them for snack, and I have already made three batches. I'm getting quick at preparing them, so now that Russ has had one, I think the final verdict is that the entire family enjoys them. It is a great harvest snack, and if we really wanted to, I think I could omit the chocolate chips, but it gives them a nice kick.

So I'm stating, I WIN on this one. So rarely do my ventures into baking or cooking turn out well that it is the reason I rarely venture out to begin with.

On the other front, the family is slowly getting back to the healthy side of the spectrum. After 6 straight nights of coughing from Trevor, he only was coughing for a few minutes last night. Next week is 3 days off for school, but none for Gwen. I guess I'll be getting some alone time with Trevor. He has been really enjoying some of the recent books we have been reading.

Woah...what a week

Absolutely crazy. So much stuff has come to a head this week. And I didn't really see it coming! This was Russ's first full week of traveling, so I knew it was going to be tough. Not from not having him here, (but yes that was part of it) it was more the changing of the routine. I have been able to figure out how to do something with the kids for one night during the week. But now it was 4 nights in a row. Add to it, that I started my new quarter of school this Wednesday. Then we are trying to plan for our vacation to Florida in two weeks. Now all the summer events are being sent out, so try to figure out your summer plans, ok? School spring conferences need to be scheduled too. Don't forget about your house and auto insurance that is due. Oh heck, throw in a new tax rebate to buy an energy saving appliance. And why not try to change Gwen out of a crib to a bed this week too.

Those are just the major events that happened this week. There were much smaller things going on too. Today, I was able to have a little break for myself at a salon for a nice facial. Ahhhh....I'm ready for round two in two weeks. We have been blessed to find out that Russ will not be traveling every week, at least for the near future. It will be every other week. It has been turning out better than expected. It really is our turn for good things to be happening!

I will leave you with a troubling thought that has entered my mind this week. As I mentioned before, Gwen's ECFE class is reading the book 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting. This week, we did point 7, which is be consistent. By simply reading the chapter title, I knew I had this one down. I believe it is one of my biggest strengths as a parent. However, reading the chapter made me doubt my parenting. Primarily that it defines being consistent as very different from being rigid. I think I might be being a little more rigid than I should. But what really struck me was the first line in this chapter. Our teacher pointed it out, and mentioned how much this quote is SO true in parenting. It states:

"The single greatest contributor to children's disciplinary problems is inconsistent parenting. If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion, or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his."

While I may claim to be a consistent parent, I can tell you that based on this statement, I for sure could improve upon my parenting. I think I just need to pick my method and never deviate. Well, of course unless I am becoming too rigid. Arrgghhh...the joys of being a parent!

Education on parenting

Since the new year, Gwen's ECFE class has decided to do a book discussion group during our parent time. It works nice for me since Gwen is my second, and I don't seem to have as many questions as I did with Trevor. The book we are reading is called The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting. It works really well with the structure of the class. Each week for 10 weeks we cover a chapter. The chapters are maybe 15-20 pages but can be read in about 15-20 minutes. Even if we don't have time to read, our teacher has a cheat sheet going over the main points of the chapter. But this cheat sheet is really nice to give to our husbands, so we can continue to have the discussion with them after class. The book isn't really a new method or new ideas, and that is what it isn't meant to do. It is more to keep important things top of mind.

I feel like since reading this book, it has really clued me in to being a better parent, and curious about the whole science behind parenting. Not so much that I want to change careers or anything, just that I'm much more curious about other people's ideas of parenting and how their parents shaped what they did. I can still remember what it was like to be parented, and what's kind of cool is that since I was the oldest, I also saw my parents parent younger kids and can remember that better than when I was that younger age.

But what I don't have a lot of clue about is how my parents were parented. I know I asked or know a lot about their lives as younger people, but I was never interested in how they were parented. Probably because at the time I wasn't interested, or didn't know much about it anyway. So one of these days, I'm going to have to have a little sit-down with my parents to see what it was like to be a kid having the parents that they did.

For a little taste of the book, a warm fuzzy for me was to read the chapter about how "you cannot spoil your child with love." It makes the distinction that you CAN spoil your child with THINGS, but often these things are used as a replacement for love. Thankfully, I don't believe that we do this as the things that our kids do get are either gifts for a celebration, or something that they have earned as a reward. The chapter is really about how, many years ago there were people that felt like withholding love and affection towards their children helped promote a strong individual. Sort of like the thinking that a boy that shows emotion is a wimp. It is also interesting to note that showing love can take different forms. And in our family it sure does. I like to spend time cuddling, hugging, patting, and in general being close to the kids. Russ (and many others) loves to wrestle and tackle and tickle both of the kids. Neither one is better than the other. It is how we show our love to the kids. And that is why the kids love to get around other family and wrestle and tackle and tickle everyone else. If anyone is willing to play with them in that way, they love, love, love it. It is so interesting to think that later on in life, how this will impact them. We are such a lucky family to have everyone so close.

More on other events later....

My thoughts always get jumbled

I did get most of what I thought out there, but there were a few things that I missed.

Mostly....I wasn't trying to make any other parent feel guilty about how they parent. I see nothing wrong with leaving the kids in the car while you drop one of them off for example ;-) I was amazed at the attitudes of parents now and what is acceptable and what some people determine is abuse. The people that were calling in or standing up and explaining that they were not for ANY time in the car, were quickly asked by Dr. Phil, so you NEVER leave you kids in the car? They quickly answered that they never did. Meanwhile most of the other people laughed when they heard the mom say this. It just isn't realistic.

And when the mom that left the child to let him find his way home was on, they were quick to show the level 2 sex offenders in the route that the child took back home. But my question is, has that really changed? Now we have a way of tracking things like that. But has it really increased the amount of predators or are we just more aware of them? So that point is not valid in my opinion.

Since I'm talking about parenting, I will say that the hardest thing for me so far is to change something I've thought was the best only to find a better way of doing things. I've been getting a lot of information on sibling rivalry. It really is hard to sit back and let the kids resolve their own conflicts. But I also know that if Trevor would have had this time to work on having to deal with another person playing with toys, he might have had an easier time at school. As it is, he is learning how to resolve things there.

So that's what I'm working on for now. Tomorrow is a big day! I'll update on the weekend with pictures and other things.

So my only down time is during TV time

I always seem to flip on Dr. Phil and Oprah during the time Trevor us upstairs for a nap. It has been interesting to watch a few of the shows. Not most, but a few. I think it was a week or so ago when Dr. Phil had a woman that was arrested but charges were dropped when there was a police officer (or someone like that) that had been watching her car as she pulled up to a sidewalk in front of a store. Think of a Target, although it wasn't one. So she pulled up to the side of the store (not in a parking space) and walked with her 3 or maybe 2 older daughters to the front of the store where there was a donation pail. I think it was around Christmas time, and it might have even been the salvation army bell ringers. Anyway, she brought the older kids out because they were making a big deal about it. It was sleeting rain/snow and the youngest girl was 18 months and asleep during this time. So the mom walked 30 feet (measured afterward) dropped the money in the pail, and as she was walking back, she was arrested in front of her daughters for abuse via neglect of the youngest child.

The show was about what is abuse and what is not. I was amazed (and really, I guess I shouldn't have been) that there were so many people willing to condemn the thought of leaving any child in a car AT ANY TIME. It was interesting to see how these people were willing to commit that under no circumstances would they leave their child in the car. Such as if they had to drop something off at a neighbor's house. Simply from the driveway to the front door. Or what about if you are returning a cart at a grocery store. Do you ALWAYS carry the child in the cart after you return the cart and last head to the car? I certainly don't. I would even be comfortable leaving Gwen in the car with Trevor if I had to head in to pay for gas at a gas station. However, I have never and probably will never do that. Mostly because of if anyone saw me do it, it would scare me into thinking I could be charged with something. Or on the 1 in a million chance that something were to happen, I wouldn't be within an arm's reach. A gas station is a bit different than a neighbor's driveway though.

Then a few days ago, Dr. Phil again had a "parenting" show. This one was extreme parenting. There was a woman in the news that blogged about the fact that she had intentionally left her son who was either 9 or 10 years old in New York City, where they lived, with maps and change to be able to take a subway, to a bus line, back home on a Sunday afternoon. What was interesting about this show was talking about how she was simply trying to prepare her son for live outside of their house. How to be a responsible child. And of course, you have the other side of the spectrum, parents that are called helicopter parents. They hover completely around their children, spying on them, calling them when they aren't at home....of course the one mom that they had on the show talked about how her oldest daughter called her own mom psycho. And that made her want to change how she did things.

He also had a guest on that had been on the show previously twice before this time, with a mom that had been a hovering mom. Each time she had been on the show, he had told her she needed to change how she parented or she will have a daughter that will rebel as soon as she was able to. She was back, and her daughter was 17. And her daughter was "horrible". Definitely in the rebelling stage. It was interesting to hear both of them talk about what was going on. The daughter had been home schooled as the mom didn't want her to end up as a rebellious teen. Now, she was saying she was going to go to college next year, and the daughter wanted to go away to college, live in a dorm, etc. but the mom said no because she didn't think she could get up any earlier than noon since that was what she was doing. The daughter argued that she should be able to prove it to her. But the mom said she wasn't willing to shell out the money to find out.

Anyway, my point was that I wonder where I am in the spectrum. I feel like I am a little too far in the hovering side of things with Trevor. However, when I go to the ECFE class with the first time parents in that class, I realize a lot of it is being a first time parent. I let Gwen run around in the class while everyone else is making sure their child isn't getting into anything they shouldn't. And the room is designed for infants and toddlers.

But finally, today Oprah had a mom on who last year left their daughter who was 3 in the car the entire day while she was at school as a teacher. The point of the show was basically to stop and think about if you are overdoing it. Overplanning, overtasking, etc. But what surprised me were all the parents talking about how they leave their child in the car while they went to do something. Basically where they weren't able to visibly see the car. Just an interesting difference in shows I guess. And I don't think I'm feeling too overplanned...yet. But I also know I'm not even near when it is going to get bad.... I have lots of ideas for things that both of the kids can do. Hopefully I can get some of the things done between school and dinner so we don't have things that make us out and about more than we are at home.

So....that's what's been running through my mind recently. There sure are a lot of things to think about when you are a parent!