So my only down time is during TV time

I always seem to flip on Dr. Phil and Oprah during the time Trevor us upstairs for a nap. It has been interesting to watch a few of the shows. Not most, but a few. I think it was a week or so ago when Dr. Phil had a woman that was arrested but charges were dropped when there was a police officer (or someone like that) that had been watching her car as she pulled up to a sidewalk in front of a store. Think of a Target, although it wasn't one. So she pulled up to the side of the store (not in a parking space) and walked with her 3 or maybe 2 older daughters to the front of the store where there was a donation pail. I think it was around Christmas time, and it might have even been the salvation army bell ringers. Anyway, she brought the older kids out because they were making a big deal about it. It was sleeting rain/snow and the youngest girl was 18 months and asleep during this time. So the mom walked 30 feet (measured afterward) dropped the money in the pail, and as she was walking back, she was arrested in front of her daughters for abuse via neglect of the youngest child.

The show was about what is abuse and what is not. I was amazed (and really, I guess I shouldn't have been) that there were so many people willing to condemn the thought of leaving any child in a car AT ANY TIME. It was interesting to see how these people were willing to commit that under no circumstances would they leave their child in the car. Such as if they had to drop something off at a neighbor's house. Simply from the driveway to the front door. Or what about if you are returning a cart at a grocery store. Do you ALWAYS carry the child in the cart after you return the cart and last head to the car? I certainly don't. I would even be comfortable leaving Gwen in the car with Trevor if I had to head in to pay for gas at a gas station. However, I have never and probably will never do that. Mostly because of if anyone saw me do it, it would scare me into thinking I could be charged with something. Or on the 1 in a million chance that something were to happen, I wouldn't be within an arm's reach. A gas station is a bit different than a neighbor's driveway though.

Then a few days ago, Dr. Phil again had a "parenting" show. This one was extreme parenting. There was a woman in the news that blogged about the fact that she had intentionally left her son who was either 9 or 10 years old in New York City, where they lived, with maps and change to be able to take a subway, to a bus line, back home on a Sunday afternoon. What was interesting about this show was talking about how she was simply trying to prepare her son for live outside of their house. How to be a responsible child. And of course, you have the other side of the spectrum, parents that are called helicopter parents. They hover completely around their children, spying on them, calling them when they aren't at home....of course the one mom that they had on the show talked about how her oldest daughter called her own mom psycho. And that made her want to change how she did things.

He also had a guest on that had been on the show previously twice before this time, with a mom that had been a hovering mom. Each time she had been on the show, he had told her she needed to change how she parented or she will have a daughter that will rebel as soon as she was able to. She was back, and her daughter was 17. And her daughter was "horrible". Definitely in the rebelling stage. It was interesting to hear both of them talk about what was going on. The daughter had been home schooled as the mom didn't want her to end up as a rebellious teen. Now, she was saying she was going to go to college next year, and the daughter wanted to go away to college, live in a dorm, etc. but the mom said no because she didn't think she could get up any earlier than noon since that was what she was doing. The daughter argued that she should be able to prove it to her. But the mom said she wasn't willing to shell out the money to find out.

Anyway, my point was that I wonder where I am in the spectrum. I feel like I am a little too far in the hovering side of things with Trevor. However, when I go to the ECFE class with the first time parents in that class, I realize a lot of it is being a first time parent. I let Gwen run around in the class while everyone else is making sure their child isn't getting into anything they shouldn't. And the room is designed for infants and toddlers.

But finally, today Oprah had a mom on who last year left their daughter who was 3 in the car the entire day while she was at school as a teacher. The point of the show was basically to stop and think about if you are overdoing it. Overplanning, overtasking, etc. But what surprised me were all the parents talking about how they leave their child in the car while they went to do something. Basically where they weren't able to visibly see the car. Just an interesting difference in shows I guess. And I don't think I'm feeling too overplanned...yet. But I also know I'm not even near when it is going to get bad.... I have lots of ideas for things that both of the kids can do. Hopefully I can get some of the things done between school and dinner so we don't have things that make us out and about more than we are at home.

So....that's what's been running through my mind recently. There sure are a lot of things to think about when you are a parent!